#WordsDrippingWithHoney

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Young bravery brings victory to a community

The small community’s miracle happened on a beautiful sunny day at the river.

The adults were partying under broad shades and the children sat around in boredom. They wanted to swim; feel the cool refreshment of the water on their skins, but could not set foot in it.

They all knew the story from their grandparents by heart of how a crocodile devoured a young child. And since then, nobody ever swam in the river.

With the words of warnings about vicious crocodiles from their parents and grandparents still fresh in their thoughts, their eyes scoured the water’s surface to see if there was any living thing in sight. One brave boy said to his friend, ‘Let’s see what happens when I put my feet in the shallow water’.

Nothing happened when he took a step into the water. ‘Maybe the man-eating crocodile died long ago,’ the boy said. ‘Or maybe this was a story to keep us out of the water,’ he thought out loud.

His friend followed and his little sister said she would swim with them. They did not think about swimming, only feeling the cool water on their feet. But, she followed.

The three walked deeper into the river, feeling the soft slimy surface under their feet and almost-too-cold water cooling off their skins. As they got to hip height, the second boy said, ‘I am scared.’ The first brave boy answered, ‘Me too.’ But the little sister said, ‘We cannot turn back now. Let’s do this afraid. They slowly and carefully continued and walked until their feet lifted and their bodies turned into a gentle swim.

“What now?’, they said to each other. They decided to swim to the other side. ‘But first, let us look under the water to make sure nothing is following us,’ said the first boy.

When these young, brave ones disappeared under the water, pandemonium erupted under the partying adults on the river bank, ordering their offspring to return to safety.

The three children pretended not to hear because they saw nothing underwater and detected no danger, except for the threats from the adults.

With calculated strokes, they crawled towards the river’s edge, emerging triumphant, knowing they had done something previous generations did not want to risk.

After a while of basking in the sun, and when the treats and scolds stopped from the other side of the river, the three ventured back; still wary of crocodiles and other dangers.

Their return to the other side was a surprise because everyone welcomed them – the adults with relief and the children with awe.

From that day, all the children learnt to swim to enjoy the river’s cool waters.

The parents made new rules. One was swimming only when the community was present. And then they had a crocodile watcher, just in case.

Photo: https://bookdash.org/books/egg/

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Do you hear, but not listen?

I once heard a story of a young man who asked his doctor for a remedy for his headache. The doctor looked at this young man with concern, asking him what happened to his arm. This arm, the youngster explained, grew onto his rib cage because it was damaged in a fire when he was a baby. The doctor turned his compassion and concern into action by contacting a plastic surgeon and other medical personnel to fix this arm. After a while and many procedures and operations when the team removed the bandages, the young man had a fully functional arm. The doctor was delighted and his patient perplexed. After a while, he was back in the doctor’s room. The doctor wanted to know why. “Doctor, I still have the headache,” the young man answered.

I wonder how many times we do this to others. We hear words but fail to actively listen. We then presume what the other person needs and act on it. And, is then disgusted if the person does not take or appreciate our gift.

This gift is like giving water to a drowning person; it adds no value to that person’s life.

We all feel at times overwhelmed by the many voices and responsibilities demanding a piece of us. But, what if those around you need you to get quiet and be there for them?

Listening is easy. It is only in the doing that it happens. Sit still, look your talker in the eye and let that person feel that you are interested in the conversation. Take time to confirm what the speaker has said, to ensure you have heard correctly and not have to presume action about the preferred outcome.

Photo: www.sightmd.com

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The beauty of friendship

I was sitting on the beach one summer evening, feeling intense loneliness, when I felt something against my back. It was a feisty little dog, sitting so close to me that passers-by thought it was my dog barking at them.

This made me realise loneliness is something I created for myself because I wanted no one to share the beauty of the dying day with me. I was too scared to smile at strangers or talk to the flower seller and even to trust the dog who tried to ease my loneliness.

This made me think of what longevity experts say about how to live a life of fulfilment. No, they don’t suggest getting a dog! But, connection with people is one of the top reasons for people getting beyond 100 years old.

I think, because we are multifaceted people, we must have several groups of people we spend time with – so that it is unnecessary to sit on a beach feeling sorry for ourselves.

I also recognise that some people need less interaction with others, because of their personality types.

We can eat and drink and exercise all the correct things, but if meaningful connections with people are lacking, we may become emotionally numb. I may even become seriously depressed because social connection gives me a sense of purpose and belonging.

What could be as enjoyable as laughing at silly little things or sitting around a fire or watching the sunset, sharing ideas and your heart?

I often wonder if we, in our fear of connecting, have attempted to replace our social media with these connections. The responsibility rests on us to make time for others in our lives, as everyone in your life teaches you some lessons.

The danger of social connection is change because people and circumstances change. We cannot worry about this change when spending time with someone because we cannot keep people in cages to be only ours nor can we bind fetters around their feet to keep them too close.

Enjoy the time you have with the group that challenges you or makes you laugh so hard that you cannot breathe.

Shrug off that fear to make new friends! Each stranger has the potential to teach you something and build another brick into your longevity!

Thank You to Shane Rounce for his photo on https://unsplash.com/@shanerounce

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How do you handle loss?

Two men had the same experience on the same day – they lost everything they had and dreamt about.

Their thieves tossed each into a dark hole with bleeding wounds and crushed egos. The one man decided he was a victim and would die in this terrible place. The other one recovered quickly by making plans to get out. He noticed the hole’s walls were unstable at places and thought of a plan to build small steps towards the faint ray of sunlight he could see in the distance.

In the end, these two received what they have decided in that dark hole! The one stayed a victim, even after his wounds healed and the searchers rescued him. The other man built a rough stairway because he refused to stay in the dark, feeling sorry for himself. He kept his eyes on that one distant ray of sunlight, knowing that every step he takes will get him to freedom. After he got out, he was the one to alert the searchers to rescue the other man.

We all have experienced times of loss like these two. Those are times when it feels as if a part of you is severed and you are bleeding to death.

Loss can be great, or small, but the pain remains the same. You may lose someone through death or something subtle, like getting older and not being able to do what you used to do. The worst loss is losing a dream you had for yourself and your loved ones.

How do we guard ourselves against the onslaught of loss?

I believe loss is inevitable, written in the seasons of time. Its impact on your life can never be expected or cushioned. The best way when in the middle of processing loss is to go through this storm, dust yourself off when it subsides and then continue with your life. Yes, life will be different and it is sometimes difficult not to have the life you used to have.

The hard work to ‘stormproof’ yourself comes when everything goes well, the purse is full and your heart bursts with joy. This is where and when you relentlessly work on your mindsets, the way you see yourself and your role in the world.

These mindsets of being a winner will not take away the effects of loss. It will build a bridge to becoming a stronger, more resilient individual who can go through the storm and rise from the dust of loss without being a victim.

We cannot stop living because of the possibility of loss or in fearing loss. Let us cultivate mindsets that will help us bounce back after these difficult times.

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The story of three paintbrushes

Three paintbrushes had the same opportunities, but what did they do with them? These three paintbrushes were living in the same studio, with different mediums of beautiful colours surrounding them.

The one gave up painting long ago, as she was believing it was not worth it because people would not like her work. The other one was always elaborating on her paintings, but never had the time to dip any bristles into the paint. And there was the third one, who without excuses or words painted daily and consistently in silence, doing the hard work.

It was in her daily painting, and keep painting, where she learnt about new colours and other ways of layering these colours that landed her a contract for painting an actor in Hollywood and many similar commissions after that.

And then the other two wondered why she was so ‘lucky’.

Luck has nothing to do with what she has achieved. It is being consistent, even when feeling insignificant or fearful, that hones our skills and eventually makes us famous and legendary.

We can choose what paintbrush we want to be because every stroke of your craft done without procrastination, fear or excuses puts you ahead of the talkers and those who have given up.

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The value of your words

Speculation, rumours and telling blatant lies can destroy any community.

I will demonstrate it with this story: One day in a small town where everyone knows their neighbours, all the adults were sitting around the town dam, hiding under the trees from the stinging summer sun. A young child came running into their midst, breaking the silence with what he has heard. He said he overheard their neighbour plotting to kill everyone because he was not invited to join them. The word ‘kill’ yanked all the adults out of their slumber. They decided to kill him before he executes his plans. They took their utensils, stones, and chairs and with anger in their hearts and murder in their eyes marched to the neighbour’s house.

This is only a story, but many times, we also react like this because we ‘heard’ something. My mom taught me to count to ten before I want to say something about someone else because these hearsay stories I tell others may have far-reaching consequences.

These stories may not be the truth or be a malicious plot of the tale-bearer to destroy someone else’s life. The danger is that the hearer may form perceptions of the person spoken about, based on someone else’s opinion. Another danger is that the hearer may misunderstand the tale-bearer and react before knowing the truth.

I wonder how many people have counted to ten before reacting, especially what I see in groups and chats on social media.

We forget that a word is like toothpaste – once out, it cannot be retracted.

One word (or phrase) can spark pain or hope or become the first domino piece in destroying a community through slander, destroying people’s characters, and spreading stories devoid of all truth.

Let your words drip with the sweetness of honey to bring healing to the wounded souls of our world and help to keep the healed ones healthy😀

Also, read Words are infectious as viruses

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The power of focus

On a morning run where the birds celebrated the new dawn, I saw a tiny sparrow with a piece of plant material twice his size. He tried to take it somewhere by transporting it with his beak – quite a hefty thing for someone this small.

It would have been easy for me to help him carry it to where he needed it, but I realised this was his struggle. This tussle and figuring out what to do, give this birdie skills he would not get in another way. When he had to do it again, this bird would be wiser and may do it differently.

As we are willing to care for others, it is also good to remember that some fights are to be fought by ourselves and some burdens are not to be shared. Sometimes I have to take responsibility for my decisions to get a solution to my problem.

I may ask advice from friends or mentors with more wisdom on the same problem to help me make the decision, but the results eventually depend on my choices.

The bird had the choice to give up and sit in the middle of the road crying, telling everyone how hard a bird’s life is. Or he can start focusing on an outcome and forge plans, broken up into small increments, to get to the fulfilment of his dream or something he wants to accomplish. And if that does not work, attempt something else until he gets what he needs (or wants).

Many of us have a dream that seems impossible. And complain because life seems hard.

As wrotein my post about Postponed dreams, focus daily on your goal or dream by doing a little bit every day to get there. This will produce a life of purpose and avoid a life of a headless chicken continually running in circles. The headless ones wake up with no set plan for the day, while the focused ones have a plan because they know what they want.

If you fail to focus or don’t know what you want, the chances are good that you may not do anything or have many unfinished projects stashed away in your garage and house.

That’s why I believe focusing on your dream has to be a daily habit because it brings a sense of simplicity and calms your soul amid the turmoil of the world around us.

Also, read about #DreamAgain in last week’s post on Postponed dreams.

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Postponed dreams

I know of a man whose wife died a year before their retirement. And, there is another one who waited for retirement to enjoy holidays in his camper van, but a sudden sickness stole this beautiful dream.

With a new year just starting, I think it is a good time to revisit our dreams and eradicate the excuses hindering them. The excuses not to attempt something are many times more than our opportunities. Our biggest excuses are money and time (or the lack of it).
Getting rid of these excuses needs careful planning because if you want to do something new in an already busy life, you have to take something out. This would be, instead of going home to watch TV, go home to take a brisk walk in your neighbourhood to start your fitness journey.
Then the sacrifice of working on your dream will start because you have to stick to it to make it work. If I want a six-pack, I have to lift weights, run far, eat right and sleep enough – every day again and again for many years. And if I got the six-pack, I must keep doing it to keep my muscles toned. The secret is not to start too many new things at once. Stick to one or two new habits until they are becoming part of your life before venturing out to do others.
Our dreams will differ but are as important to everyone as the air we breathe. Only action will bring them to life and you alone can do it for yourself.
Don’t wait for someone else to light your passion or for another day. Plan and save up for those holidays, climb the mountains, paint your best or write that book or poetry.
The world needs your dream. Start to do what you love to do this year. AND LIVE from today!!!
Copyright Annalie Anticevich© January 2023

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Your kindness may heal someone else’s pain

In a time where we do life differently than the other parts of the year, one story reminds me to be kind, as we don’t know other people’s pain. Another reminder is that bad behaviour may be a cry for love, acceptance and help.

The story: A group of men were locked up – murderers, frauds and thieves.

One day, as all were sitting against a prison wall, just before sunset in the cool of the day, they heard it …. A sweet song from the other side of the wall.

Is it a girl? Is it an angel? they whispered with tears in their eyes as the song touched their hearts.

Months went by with each day at the same time a little girl stood on the outside of the wall singing a song of healing to people she never met. The men sat still as they cried silent tears from old wounds and people they once knew.

Only one of them, Big Ben Bully, was fuming. With tears in his eyes and clenched fists, he would stomp around disturbing the solemn silence with grunts and sighs. One day he could not listen to the pure song anymore. He took a stone and threw it over the wall in the direction of the singing. With a shriek silence followed, which lasted for many days.

The silence of the song brought a great hush among the men, a sadness of losing something so pure. They sat at their spot every day, hoping this beauty would be theirs again. And one day, they heard it again. It was the same voice but a different song. This time it was one of victory that brought hope to their hurting souls. Hope that there are people who haven’t forgotten about them, even though they did some terrible things.

A startled teary-eyed group saw Ben, with his eyes closed, with a clear voice starting to also sing the song he tried to kill.

Imagine what would have happened to these men if this little girl did not return to sing her song again? The world is deprived of the talent or skill you give to others and sometimes people you don’t know. This to me, is an excellent form of kindness. To truly give from my heart, I had to learn to keep doing it, even if they throw stones at me. It is the kindness of forgiving and the girl’s tenacity to give something to them that touched their hearts and not necessarily the face behind the hand.

Photograph thank you to Denny Müller https://unsplash.com/@redaquamedia at https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1516959000310-4eb0178333ab?ixlib=rb-4.0.3&ixid=MnwxMjA3fDB8MHxwaG90by1wYWdlfHx8fGVufDB8fHx8&auto=format&fit=crop&w=1170&q=80

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Where does dignity live?

‘Grandpa, what is dignity and where does it live?’ Two young ones and their grandparent were talking about the meaning of life when this question popped up.

Giving himself time to think, grandpa asked the two to put their hands on the temples on each side of their heads.

‘Dignity lives in your head, between your two hands – it is part of your way of thinking and how you relate to others!’

The frowns on their faces made him explain in a flash, ’Dignity is your right to be valued and respected for who you are. That recognition of your dignity as a human being you receive in your home as a child becomes the glasses through which you see your world. One day when you are grown up, you will give others what you are getting now.’

He continued before any question could be asked, ‘You are lucky to be in a family where we celebrate you as individuals. And because you feel this kind of love and appreciation, you can value and love others. Because you don’t have to fight for being valuable to us, you don’t have to prove anything to receive our love. That, my children, is experiencing dignity.’

The grandpa continued, ‘Many people never felt this acceptance as a child. Our world’s families are not always filled with the unconditional love you are feeling because they never received it themselves.

‘That’s why people don’t understand dignity. You can never respect or value others if you think, feel, or know you are not loved or respected as a human being. You will always feel something is missing. And sadly, you will subconsciously allow others to mistreat you.’

After a long silence, the eldest questioned, ‘Grandpa, is there any way we can help others feel better if they don’t feel valued.’

‘No’ said the grandpa, ‘You can make the world a better place by being kind or friendly, but you cannot change other people’s minds unless they do.

‘Because you know you are loved, you can make the world a better place by the way you make others feel when you walk away from them. A simple smile or greeting and, of course, please and thank you and basic manners – all those things we are teaching you!

The grandpa continued, ‘These are things you do in people’s faces. Remember valuing others also reflects in what you are saying about or doing for others behind their backs. I believe what is done when someone is not with you is a reflection of your heart and not who that person may be.

’The most important thing you can do for the hurting ones around you is to understand it is not about you and your stepping out of line, but many times their inability to understand or know how to respect you,’ the grandpa finally said.

Photograph thank you to https://www.educationworld.in/involve-grandparents-to-make-happy-children/

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Rest before you get tired

🏃🏃‍♀️I was running at a good pace in one of my favourite road races when a woman from my neighbouring city started an interesting conversation.

I remember her saying, “Walk before you get tired”. And meant that I had to start walking with her at that moment. Her advice was a bit weird, as I was enjoying the pace I had set for myself, but I did what she requested. It seemed good advice, as I had strength when we got onto the long downhill and stamina on the up-hills.

Afterwards, this strategy made me think of my life which is sometimes crammed into too many social events and catch-up coffees with friends that I will only rest when I am tired.

I remember my aunt who would go to her bedroom each day after lunch ‘to rest her eyes’. We may not have that luxury, but we as modern-day city dwellers can still use this concept by creating pockets of resting before we get tired.

There are so many methods on this topic that it created a whole wellness industry. Resting is more than sleeping or vain self-indulgence. A brief study into rest shows ‘active’ or conscious resting is a secret of many great men and women – in sport and business.

The secret, I think, is to know yourself and what activities may cause fatigue and what fuels your passion for life.

I believe real rest happens when you do THAT something you love and it gives you the energy to continue until late at night. This differs for each of us, as some would quietly read and others would take a long walk in nature or go on a road trip. All it needs is for you to create that pocket of time, even if you have to plan, fight or negotiate to get it.

Photograph, thank you to stylist.co.uk London Marathon 2021: 12 training tips for running your first marathon

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Why I am writing?

The first waking moment of the morning is the place where they live.

Story seeds slowly grow in my soul to become a lesson for myself before I write it down for mankind.

This is not inspiration or daydreaming. It is growth, a memory of what was said to me or what really happened in my life.

I always felt out of place and awkward because of these story seeds growing in me, popping up at the strangest times (especially when I think I am going to sleep a bit longer).

In the silence of my soul, I can hear their voices, crying to be released.

That is why I write.

Photograph https://unsplash.com/@driaug

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A lesson from my favourite plants

With winter being only a memory, it is the winter plants Echeveria (the beauties on my homepage) and Aloes (below) that teach me a lesson I value.

These plants are the water-wise, low-maintenance ones that blossom in winter, giving us an array of colours when almost all other plants are in ‘hibernation’. These plants and especially the wide variety of Aloes can withstand the harshest temperatures. In fact, they need direct sunlight to be at their best.

In its rich diversity, the Aloe brings physical healing to our bodies and, if you are like me, you love its simple form.

The best part of the Aloe is that they blossom when everything around them is dry and dusty. Their time to ‘shine’ is mainly in winter. Each cultivar has its own colour and time to adorn our gardens, but most of all our urban and agricultural open spaces. In a typical winter landscape, you can spot their red, orange, yellow and sometimes white flowers from afar.

The Echeveria plant, called the desert rose, has less extravagant flowers, but they announce the change of season from winter to spring by being some of the first to blossom. This rosette of mostly waxy leaves can be seen between the rocks in remote, mountainous areas or in our gardens.

The beauty of these two types of plants, I see winter after winter, reminds me that our environment is not supposed to dictate our emotional state. They remind me that I can blossom and ‘shine’ like them when all is dusty and dry around me and it feels like winter will never stop.

They further remind me to stay calm when everything feels like it is burning down or falling apart. And that the winter season will eventually end.

Difficult seasons of pain, hardship, trouble, distress and suffering do end and seasons change if we keep these plants in mind when we feel hopeless and tired of the current dry and dusty season.

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The sound of your heart ❤️

I was always warned not to daydream too much. I could not stop because this was the way to connect with the song in my heart, that sound that brings joy into my life.

Dreaming only, however, is dangerous because I was tempted in doing only that. Planning my dream is the journey to get there, the continuous test runs that hone my skills. This process is becoming part of my lifestyle and my thinking. And one step at a time closer to what I want to achieve. In planning and trying and keep going, I now find great joy because it keeps the sound of my heart alive.

The truth is that we are destined to do something great somewhere. This is that part that comes alive when you do it -painting, doing sports, writing, whatever. Everyone’s sound of their heart is unique, which gives us the task to develop and nurture. The sound of your heart requires your courage to plan, focus, practise and continue until it happens. A sportsperson achieving the “impossible” has practised many hours and sacrificed comforts many people would not live without. In the scorching sun, rain and cold these sportspersons continue to hone their skills, getting better by the day!

The best part of this journey to develop our greatness is what is happening inside our heads. We must train our thinking patterns more than we spend time in our pursuit to develop our skills. Our thinking patterns and mindsets are the actual places where everything is happening before a hand touches a paintbrush or a keyboard or a sportsman’s feet touch the ground.

At times I may sabotage my own chance of success with small thoughts – mostly because of fear and doubting myself. And if I don’t check and kill these thoughts, they may become big trees in my mind.

Despite these doubts and fears, I decide every day to keep dreaming while planning and practising, because if I don’t dream and not keeping at my dream, I may start to accept everything in life as is. Then I am in danger to forget the rhythm of the song in my heart – that one that makes me exceptional and different from the crowd. Without this song, I slowly die and suffocate without its life-giving oxygen.

I always feared not fitting in because my heart beats with a different rhythm, but a special sound from the rest of the crowd. What brought freedom to me is when I realised I would rather take the road never travelled with this song in my heart than be like the crowd. And go around the same mountain every day, dying with every step because my dream is withering away.

All this work happens in my mindset, while I am keeping my feet on the ground.

Photograph sourced from https://wallpaperaccess.com/music-notes

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A life lesson from Nicholaas

A boy waits in the queue on his first school day, quiet and full of nerves to go to class. His new teacher walks by and her pencil falls (in modern days, her smartphone or laptop cable). This boy jumps out of the neat row of schoolchildren to pick it up for her.
Being a small school in a small town, this act of kindness got this boy the nickname Polite. He grew up with his peers calling him that and in a big way, he became that.
This is the legend of Nicholaas van der Merwe, the boy who grew up to become my grandpa.
As a child, I felt and knew many people loved Nicholaas.
Polite has many meanings, but looking at Grandpa Nicholaas’ life, it means courtesy or decency to me. Back then, this was what shaped families and communities. And many people feel these are amiss in today’s world.
I do understand that the worlds of then and now are totally different. People discovered their voices and are not shy to use them in so many ways.
Basic politeness in today’s world may change many situations and relationships. Politeness may shape a generation to live a less self-centred life, even though they still do have a voice. It can manifest itself in small acts of kindness we do for those around us like something small as returning a lost pencil. It could be greeting someone at a traffic light, like my recent discovery in my blog- post https://annathewarrior.com/2022/09/23/307/?fbclid=IwAR3VP3oylFm9Pu2tgtPjA_0qbRVYC4zTVD1AxMJ2umXbCi-Od2VuNjdUS9A ❤ Let Nicholaas who jumps first to be kind and to make someone else’s day, be our inspiration!

Photograph: A hard copy was taken long ago in Adderly Street, Cape Town by Aubrey Hall

Givers are the happiest people, hoarders live in fear

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Keep going #BusChasers 🚍🏃‍♀️🏃

As a child, my dad used to tell us the story of the dog that chased a bus.

This sort-legged dog always looked for ways to get out of the yard, waiting at the roadside to chase any wheelie passers-by. Some cars and motorbikes he caught, but others, like this specific bus, were always too fast. He had a few close encounters and even brushes with death in all his attempts to be able to catch the bus.

This little doggie ate all his good food and exercised his little body to get fit to be able to catch the bus. Some nights he even dreamt of catching the bus. And one day it happened – he caught up with the bus! The sad thing is he didn’t know what to do when he got it.

This is what obsession without planning does to mankind. You run after many things (some are good quests) but don’t know what you want to achieve. Many times, it is not catching the bus that is the achievement but getting fit enough to run after the vehicle or what you have learned or the journey or the personal growth.

According to the website, https://www.hillspet.com/dog-care/behavior-appearance/why-do-dogs-chase-cars, dogs are chasing cars (or busses) because it is an instinct. A dog recognises a vehicle as ‘prey’ they must run after and capture. But we are human beings with the gift of choice and the opportunity to live with purpose.

I believe you must have a WHY before frantically becoming a #BusChaser, running after any ’bus’. This WHY will help you continue long after your legs grew tired because if it is only an instinct to do what you are doing, the novelty will soon wear off. That’s why I believe in always asking myself, ‘What is chasing me to run after something (or someone)?’

A strong WHY will give you the grit not to give up on that thing you are chasing. It will give you the perseverance to not stop trying. Sometimes only continuous attempts make us the winner because the more we are trying, the better we will become and, in the end, you are only winning.

And if you do reach your goal, what then? This was the moral of my dad’s story – the dog did not know what he wanted to do with the bus. When you reach the goal that you have chased for so long, it is not necessary to feel lost or deflated like the dog who got his bus.

Life is constantly evolving. It is good to remember that you are never done when reaching a goal. A new ‘bus’ will arise, and you start this journey of chasing another one again. It is like reaching the top of a mountain to realise this is the foot of another bigger mountain. The strength and fitness gained and the lessons learned in getting there are the building blocks for climbing the next one. KEEP going #BusChasers🚍🏃‍♀️🏃

Photograph, thank you to https://thewiddershins2.files.wordpress.com/2015/06/dog-and-car-2.jpg for the image that helped me tell my story.

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My story about a white feather

A solitary white feather had me daydreaming.

To whom did this tiny feather belong? Feathers are supposed to keep birds warm. It gives them the ability to fly and makes them unique.

But what if this feather didn’t drop from a bird?

What if angels do exist and they do have wings? And leave those feathers in places where you pass by – only to help you believe in the wonder of beauty and that there is more than the eye can see.

White feathers remind me that I am free to be myself – to fly away while still having my feet solid on the ground.

It is a celebration because I am not a little bird trapped in a cage anymore. The cage I lived in for many years was built by the lies I believed about myself. I kept myself captive inside my thoughts through my belief system, created by a make-believe world of fear and doubt. This prison stopped me from growing because I was so scared to live.

But long ago, I ventured out and learned to soar. Step by step I taught myself who I really am and most of all that I am enough.

A solitary discarded floating feather reminds me to take frequent small steps to get to the place I want to be – always moving, evolving gracefully like a bird in flight, yet firm and steadfast moving forward. And not like a discarded white feather floating everywhere the wind goes.

More lessons from a white feather found floating somewhere include reminding myself to keep my wild-horse thoughts tightly under rein, always believe the best in others and if heartache comes, there will be better times than today.

What does a solitary white feather mean to you? It has a different meaning for everyone. Please tell me in the comments below.

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The journey of waiting

Harvest time reminds me of my personal growth.

It reminds me of the journey in life I have taken from planting to harvest because change and growth have taken place.

After the planting or when I am sowing some seeds, it feels as if nothing happened under the ground, as this planting has changed my role from sower (planter) to a farmer.

I felt the ginger in my backyard pots was not growing the past winter. There was no evidence that plants exited. But eventually digging it up showed the opposite. In the hope to get plump and delicious pieces of ginger, I kept watering the ‘bare’ soil for months. I could do this because I knew what I have planted.

I remembered my friend, who gave me the ginger rhizomes with good instructions, including often feeding them with plant food. He reminded me not to dig them up before springtime. (This happened after I dug some up for another friend).

My first ginger harvest reminded me again that growth happens in times when it seems nothing is taking place – when it feels as if life becomes cold and hostile around us.

One part of the growing process is that I cannot go back, digging up the seeds or rhizomes I have planted. I have to keep ‘watering’ my dreams, ‘feeding’ my visions and resolving to never abandon the planting of my dream by keeping nurturing it with the ‘good food’ of my thoughts. There will be times I have to chase away pests attacking my thoughts, making me believe I am ‘crazy’ to hold on to my dream. I then have to protect my dreams against my own plans to give up.

To believe again in my dreams, I usually stand still and breathe. And wait and wait again, remembering how much I have grown to get where I am today.

Some things in life you can plan, but some things need time. This is when you need patience in waiting for reaping your harvest at the right time.

I have learned my waiting must never be passive. Besides keeping the pests of doubt and fear away from my mind, I think like an athlete – patiently working with small steps of slow progress every day. The athlete would pound the road when everyone is still sleeping, lift heavier weights or do the extra work – even feeling they are not making it.

The gratification of waiting a long time for your dream to become a reality will feel like I felt when I was eventually harvesting my plump, delicious ginger. And this is worth the wait.

And after your victory, repeat what you have done to get there – to stay there. Because if I don’t plant ginger in my backyard pots, I will have no ginger after next year’s winter.🌻

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Everyone matters – even the silent ones

The girl-who-cannot-talk died today – quietly drifting away to death with a serene smile.

No one knew her name or her story. No one knew why she could not talk, because there could be various reasons. She could be old, disabled or too sick to tell you what she is feeling. Or she had no idea how to voice the pain in her soul, as it was too much to bear.

Helping her your way could further kill her voice. It is like stuffing food down her throat to feed her when she cannot swallow. This could suffocate her or cause inflammation in sensitive body parts.

What would happen if we created pockets of time to find the thief of this girl’s voice?

She could be your friend, sister, mother, or wife. She could be you!

Only time spent with someone hurting, where she feels safe and loved, may help her to let her voice be heard again.

Those who cannot talk because of disability will connect in unique ways – by squeezing your hand or with a hug or a smile – to tell you they are ok. It is your love they feel that will help them feel safe enough to say something.

Let us remember that everyone matters – even the silent ones!

Embrace the girl-who-cannot-talk, because maybe you could become her one day! And then you are the one needing a safe place.

Everyone can teach you something, even if it is by saying nothing. Learn to listen with your heart to see the truth.

Photograph http://clipart-library.com/zipper-mouth-cliparts.html

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Givers are the happiest people, hoarders live in fear

Thank you to Shoeib Abolhassani on https://unsplash.com/@shoeibabhn

Fear is real. You feel it on your body, you see it in your steps.

To become a giver is smashing the fears milling in your mind. Get rid of the excuses I can’t, I am not good enough or what if, because you always get something when you give!

Giving is misunderstood by thinking you have to give something tangible. Or money. That is also good, but it feels out of reach because you many times have no idea what the other person needs.

In a country where people don’t trust each other nor talk to strangers, I encountered a way of giving that blew my mind.

I decided (after we took off our masks) to start reaching out to others with a smile – one smile to someone every day.

Repeat it tomorrow but get a different ‘smile beneficiary’. And repeat this until it feels comfortable.

I tried this out on the two flower sellers I encountered daily at the traffic lights. I have no reason to buy a bunch of flowers for myself but have the choice of giving these men my best smiles and a thumbs-up to encourage them to keep up their work.

My ‘smile beneficiary’ also has a choice. With the flowers in his hands, the one is begging for bread – with his one hand on his tummy showing me he is hungry. The other one received my smiles and we became ‘friends’ by daily looking out for each other’s smile. I have never considered buying a flower from him, but his smile continues to make my day.

What would have happened if I ignored these men attempting to make an honest living and drove past, grumbling that they are in the way of the traffic? I would have missed a radiant smile and maybe my smile helped the friendly flower seller to come back to that spot to keep selling his flowers.

The other flower seller may still be hungry as he left his spot. My smile had the same warmth toward him as the other.

And what did I get by giving? I felt connected and alive for being part of a community – somewhere on earth. Fear of whatever and not reaching out could have stolen this from me.

I also learned to keep doing good. The man, who could not receive my smile, may have been in such pain caused by the shame of poverty that it was impossible to think about anything else but his hunger.

Who are we to judge others?

Keep smiling 😀

Photograph, thank you to Shoeib Abolhassani on https://unsplash.com/@shoeibabhn

Featured

#Words are infectious as viruses

I have seen how careless and malicious words infect people’s hearts with the story of two friends:

Two boys, of the same age, were living in the same neighborhood, went to the same school.

The only difference is that the one’s parents used to tell the child how bad he is. He never knew whether he would be spanked or praised.

The other boy’s family was different. They used to eat meals together, sharing their lives in a safe nurturing space. And the words they used were different – not only praise for a job well done, but appreciation for being part of each other’s lives.

One day the friend from the not-so-friendly home started yelling at his is friend, telling him how bad he is and for many months lashed out on him when he did something wrong. This caused that the boy from the loving home did not know what to do with the sudden pain of the constant stabbing to his heart!

All he could do with his bleeding soul was to start yelling at his mom, whose heart was also slashed into pieces because of her child’s sudden hostility. She in turn, because of this unexpected pain and new emotions, stopped talking to her husband. Her husband became so frustrated by the silence that all he could do was sarcastically scold at his family. In this way their hearty meals became silent torture with each bleeding heart trying to protect himself.

This story makes me believe that humans have the ability to slowly slash each other’s hearts into pieces by using words only. And as you bleed you turn silent about the good and worthy in others and your words become bitter and twisted, gushing the same venom on others that you feel in your broken heart. In this way we keep alive the cycle of using words to kill each other’s souls with a slow and painful death.

This pain of separation from being loved and accepted is usually getting so severe that we will attack what is dear to someone else to traumatize them even more – only to get temporary relief from my own pain!

An Antidote?

I believe there is an antidote to this word-inflicted world of #WordPoison.

This is seated in choice because every one of us has a choice. We can allow other people’s venomous words to make knotty nests in our imagination to eventually kill our souls OR we can forgive and walk away!

To get to this choice first get perspective about the real issue. Then, if you made a mistake say sorry and simply stop the stream of life-killing words from your mouth! And, if you are innocent, forgive.

This word-antidote-choice is a process and will never be easy. But, every choice to stop breaking others with your words breaks the cycle of a wounded and word-infected community.

…. Well, the story of the two boys had a good ending: the boy from the previously happy family one day overheard how the other boy’s dad growled at him for a minor mistake. After hearing the same tone of voice and the same words his friend used to snarl at him, the boy realized that he did the same to the people he loved.

And then he made the choice ….

A lesson from a naartjie

A naartjie (also called mandarin or tangerine) is a small round citrus fruit we usually enjoy in winter.

This fruit makes me think of each day we get to live. It has the same amber glow of the rising African sun and each morning, I have no idea if the naartjie in my hand is sweet, sour, or something in between.

As we wake up each day, we get the opportunity to unwrap the skin. Inside we get segments – work, play, family, rest, whatever we fill our day with.

Time is a precious and scarce commodity and runs out quickly. When it is time to sleep again, we wonder what happened to time today. And if this time-scarceness happens every day, it may cause a life of despair, because we eventually forget how to live. (I also wrote about this in my blog https://annathewarrior.com/2023/01/13/postponed-dreams/)

It is good to live today, but what about tomorrow? After today, what are you doing to have naartjies again? Do you toss the naartjie pips in the rubbish bin? And what about the skins?

What are we doing today to have a better tomorrow? The pip we plant may give us new naartjie trees in years to come. You could eventually have so much that you can share your small trees or stash of naartjies with others.

The skin we so easily toss also has properties we could creatively use in many areas of our lives. Many times the small actions of now have big consequences tomorrow!
Seize the moment of this day. Do one thing that will make tomorrow a better one.
And remember to breathe and rest in between.

Copyright Annalie Anticevich© August 2024

You are a sculptor

As I am getting older, I am aware that time is becoming a scarce commodity. I am consciously managing my waking and sleeping hours to live life to the fullest.

That’s why I believe each of us has more power over our lives than we make it out to be. Choices are the commodity each of us has, but we sometimes believe we are helpless victims trapped in our narrow lives.

This makes me think of The Tale of the Two Wolves https://psychcentral.com/blog/the-legend-of-the-two-wolves#1 where we learn that the one we feed is the one winning.

So, how do you ‘feed’ your evil or good wolf if we all have both residing in us? Your mindset is a result of the choices you have made.

What are your choices today? I have written about this in some of my previous blogs in Patience https://annathewarrior.com/2024/01/19/the-patience-of-love/; Three paintbrushes https://annathewarrior.com/2023/02/24/the-story-of-three-paintbrushes/; Focus https://annathewarrior.com/2023/01/20/the-power-of-focus/; Postponed dreams https://annathewarrior.com/2023/01/13/postponed-dreams/; About resilience: https://annathewarrior.com/2023/06/23/the-beauty-of-resilience/

The patience of LOVE ❤️

I encounter them on almost every morning run, winter and summer – a woman and her St Bernard dog.

Their love for each other differs from the runners whose dogs have only seconds to sniff to keep up with their owners’ pace.

These two grand old ladies move slowly through the suburb, waking up for the day. The dog, older than all of us combined, walks a few metres, sniffs a bit and rests for a while on the plush pavements – sometimes for a long time.

In all this resting time, the woman has no hurry or haste to get her dog going again because no words nor encouragement could move this huge dog lady… only time when she is ready.

What do these ladies teach us? I think their lesson to us is to be in the moment of being. If walking is part of it, it’s good. If waiting for your walking partner’s strength to return, also good.

We sometimes attempt to cram too many activities in one minute like running, walking the dog and getting enough exercise in a certain amount of minutes.

This woman’s love service of patience and her dog’s determination to rest remind me to slow down, hone into your partner’s choices, breathe and enjoy the moment.

AND What if….We do the same with our children or elderly in our lives? Life will be slower, but may become more beautiful!

⭐️READ about another lesson I learned on my morning runs, called The power of focus https://annathewarrior.com/2023/01/20/the-power-of-focus/

⬆️Thank you to Vlad Rudkov (@jqb) | Unsplash Photo Community for your beautiful photo. The photo (https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1613943951796-ff7b760d64b0?q=80&w=1470&auto=format&fit=crop&ixlib=rb-4.0.3&ixid=M3wxMjA3fDB8MHxwaG90by1wYWdlfHx8fGVufDB8fHx8fA%3D%3D ) is not of the actual dog in the story.

The Discussion

Sugarplum and Honeybee had a conversation.

They wondered why they are called these names when they are women with beautiful real names.

Sugarplum remembered some days she has no sweetness, sometimes with no love or respect – only work and perform and walk on eggshells to keep safe. Honeybee remembers she has more stuff than Sugarplum but has to work long, stressful hours for everything she wants. “Life is perfect,” they decided.

’I would rather be a sugarplum and not a honeybee’, says Sugarplum. It doesn’t matter who you are; you have this one life. There is only one edition issued as myself!’

’You are right!, Honeybee said, ‘A sugarplum doesn’t have bee wings. Everyone has a different road to walk (or fly). Some days we fly and others we crawl.’

‘But, we have each other and my weakness is strength if we are together,’ the two said. ’I cannot be you. You cannot be me! Why then try to have what you have and be who you are?’ the two decided.

Sugarplum remarked, ’My life is hard, but it is also good, and this is what I have.’

Yes, why waste time to be someone else?’ says Honeybee.

And off they walked into the sunset.

The Why of Resilience

In a world full of distraction and empty entertainment, it is beautiful to witness the resilience of the human spirit and how this perseverance inspires those around them.

Resilience has many elements, of which determination gets you to focus on what you set out to do and perseverance keeps you doing that thing.

Determination helps you to reach a goal. I remember its demonstration when I came across a man walking up the hill in our neighbourhood a few years ago. He was walking with a walker in the middle of the road – super slow with one step walk and one-step rest. He had to rest because he struggled to breathe.

I believe he kept doing it, extending the number of steps before resting because I bumped into a totally different man the other day. He still walked slowly, but this time to accommodate his little dog, sniffing in every corner. He had no walker and walked like a fit veteran.

This man made me think of those who choose to do things out of the ordinary. Living in a relatively warm climate, I cannot imagine swimming in icy water. There are, however, people in icy climates that do this https://time.com/4679962/czech-pensioners-cold-water-swimming/ ‌ They say ‌it is good for their health and creates close friendships.

I believe your determination needs a why. If you only swim in icy water or take your doggie for a walk without understanding why, the perseverance will disappear as soon as life gets difficult. This world has no new excuses to NOT do something.

Everyone can live an extraordinary life but sometimes lacks their why and determination. We want things to happen in a flash and fail to understand it is slow and consistent focused moves toward your why that propel you forward – step by step (or fall by fall).

In the end, achieving what you set yourself to do, will make you feel more alive and encourage you to continue dreaming about more ventures. It gives you the skills to take your dreams and aspirations to another level to create your best and most beautiful life.

⬇️Thank You to https://unsplash.com/@andyadcon for the use of your photograph (https://unsplash.com/photos/aC9B6XDcUjM)⬇️

#ThePowrOfGratitude

Gratitude is a lens or filter through which you see and experience your world.

Described as “an appreciation of the positive aspects of your current situation” it is done through the active practice of thankfulness.

Gratitude and being thankful may be sparked by many things or events, but it is as subjective and unique as your fingerprints. It has the same results every time: a positive and happy state that escalates into more positivism!

Scientists around the world have made many studies on the effects of gratitude on your body, your life and the people around you. Some of these findings include that the regular practice of gratitude lowers depression levels and results in less anxiety while other scientists claim that gratitude reshapes your brain functions and helps you to sleep better.

If the scientists are right, your freedom to a more fulfilled and happy life starts with one sentence – I AM THANKFUL FOR …………

I believe gratitude is a fire unseen to the naked eye, but its warmth is felt by all around you. This fire, started with the spark of one thought of being thankful, burns away unnecessary guilt, doubt and fear and stifles self-sabotage. It restores your belief in the good of humanity and also helps you breathe when you feel you are downing.

No scientific study has the ability to prescribe your experience of the spark of gratitude igniting your life. This is something only you can do for yourself!

And, I believe if you feel there is nothing good to be thankful about, go search for only one thing to ignite your spark! And in a while, you will see that the scientists may be right when this fire of positivism start changing your life.

It is up to you to make that mind shift towards being thankful! Take that one step now!

I believe gratitude is a fire unseen to the naked eye, but its warmth is felt by all around you.